John Burroughs,
a.k.a. Jesus Crisis, is a pacifist, poet, playwright, musician, composer, bibliophile, and seeker in Elyria, Ohio.
Co-founder (with Dianne Borsenik) of the monthly Lix and Kix Poetry Extravaganza and the annual winter wordfest known as Snoetry, John is also the
founding editor and publisher for Crisis Chronicles Press and a regular contributor to the Cleveland
Poetics and Ohio Poetry Association blogs. Since 2011 he has served as the OPA's webmaster pro tem.
John founded a loose association called Poets of Lorain County, under whose auspices he's hosted regular open mic and
featured poet events at the Avon Lake Public Library and the Lorain Arts Council's
737 Gallery, as well as the PoetryElyria series at Jim's Coffeehouse and Diner, the Scott M. Duncan
Photography studio and other venues in his hometown.
John's work has appeared on stages in four states, as well as in numerous journals, and he is the author of five poetry chapbooks:
Two broadsides featuring his work, For Change Is and Low Kay Shun, are available from NightBallet Press. His fifth chapbook, Water
Works, is forthcoming in 2012 from Recycled Karma Press.
The Tao of Jesus Crisis: My First Hit of Acid [from my old journals]
My First Hit of Acid [from my old journals]
[originally posted 2 December 2007 on MySpace]
[John, a.k.a. Jesus Crisis - Christmas 1991]
Last night our artist friends Smith and Lady stayed the night with us. And it amazes me that though I spent nearly 24 hours without MySpace (is that possible?), I had my most enjoyable night in recent memory. Anyway, they have recently been posting excerpts from Smith's old journals, warts and all, on MySpace and I've been blown away. Some of what he shares (robbery, infidelity, drug use and much more) is not pleasant, but it is always powerful. He has a great mind, loads of talent, and some great stories to tell. But what impresses me most might be his unfailing honesty - maybe because that's a quality I've often had difficulty incorporating consistently into my own life.
So I've been contemplating telling more of my life story - with bare-bones honesty. It's easy to talk about the good, inspiring, and flattering things. But it's not always easy to talk about the rest. After all my mom, step-daughters, nephews, niece, step-mom, step-sister, aunts, and cousins are included in my MySpace friends. And though they don't often comment on my blogs, I have every reason to believe they might read them. I don't want to embarrass or shock anyone - or to set a bad example. And I don't want to spoil anyone's opinion of me. So it's hard, but (I believe) necessary for my own continuing personal evolution.
I have boxes and boxes of old journals, letters, et cetera collecting dust in our attic. And I think that as I write my book about my incarceration, I need to dig into these and deal with them honestly, critically and without fear. I don't know how often I want to include selections on my blog - this may end up being a one-time deal, or at least an infrequent one. Let's see how it goes.
A little context.... The following excerpt was written the evening of 15 April 1991. I was 24 years old and making more money as a bartender at a gay nightclub in Lorain, Ohio, than I'd ever made before. I had earned my first college degree (in history) the previous year, but I was still going to school part time. And a little more than a year after this was written, I would be charged with a crime that would eventually result in my serving 11 years in prison.
Earlier in the day, a friend had encouraged me to try a tab of LSD for the first time. I paid her five dollars for the "hit," but didn't take it right away. I waited until I was home and "safe." I thought I'd make a sort of "scientific" experiment of it - and write down my experience as it occured. (I had recently read Huxley's The Doors of Perception and was interested in opening my own doors, so to speak). But as you'll see, my under the influence writing isn't nearly as impressive as I'd hoped it would be. And it's certainly not as good as any of Smith's recent blog entries - though it's posted in response (and homage) to his philosophy that there is no truth "too true to do."
First a disclaimer: I only took "acid" two more times in my entire life - and it's been many years since the last time. So this was not necessarily typical of "the artist before he was known as Jesus Crisis." It's just presented, warts and all, completely unedited, as a piece of my life's puzzle.
Kids, don't try this at home.
And so here, without further ado, is the trippy journal entry:
15 April 1991
My first hit of acid ever tonight. First - a high feeling, speeding lightly, dick firming up. I'm watching my new Peter Gabriel video, P.O.V. I've had a few beers earlier. I have hives; why I know not.
After fuckloads of fucking, my arms are shot. Slaughter is jamming and I could have even more sex!
Tripping, enjoying being in the nude; the hives and the rest of my skin feeling warm. Even Mariah Carey and Great White sound like (and look like) great art.
I don't feel much like writing. Even commercials are cool. My muscles are weak from all the sex
Pictures seem to be ever changing, but still the same. Hard to explain
Sting is fresh! Who is that gorgeous girl in this video playing the woodwinds? Is that an oboe, bassoon contrabassoon Hell if I know... The Soul Cages... on this video it seems as though the men keep getting older and uglier and the women keep getting younger and more gorgeous.
I'm going to bed now; I'll listen to my headphones, sleeping in the nude. I'm scared (ha) when even Warrant is starting to sound good.
Everyone looks good and yet bad Even bad looks good.
I feel like I'm always trying to hold my stomach in, though I'm trying not to. I can't find my headphones. When I get tired of MTV, I'll lay in silent bed and trip.
I'm afraid someone will come out and see me nude, but I won't dress. It looks as though I'm giving this book the hives. I really want all I feel to be remembered; I really should have a tape going.
It gets trippier as I go This above still holds true.
Extreme - Pornograffitti II - buy
It's 4:10 a.m. I feel like it's getting really bright outside. Soon I will see daylight?
I'm hearing different mixes of Janet Jackson's "Escapade" while I'm watching only one video. The faraway shots are impressing. But the close-ups of Janet impress me as being as fake as they come. Good night... for now... 4:15 a.m....
Currently listening : Blues for Allah By Grateful Dead Release date: 10 October, 1995
Here are some of the comments this blog recieved originally:
That brief entry actually took somewhere between six to eight hours to write. I was so into the experience, I had a hard time making myself write. There were gaps of an hour or more between sentences at a time. Then suddenly I'd recall that I was supposed to be writing, and so I would squeeze out another sentence.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 11:26 PM
2 flashbacks and now wang chung stuck in my head. and all this time i thought we were friends... *laughing* ok, i brought the song on myself, didn't i?
Posted by Susannah Dean on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 6:53 PM
I think crossing paths with Smith and Lady (and not just them) has encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone a bit. As Albert Einstein said, "Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom."
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 8:33 AM
Thanks for the kind words. You and Mrs. are wonderful hosts - conversation was easy & I couldn't get enuff of it.
I worry about lots of the things we post... but Smith's always told me that no matter what I do people will either like me or hate me, that I can't control reactions, that I might as well be myself.
I worry that people will not be forgiving enough as well - we're very progressive socially & politically but sometimes an honest account of one's mind includes ugly thoughts...
The old Smith bears a striking resemblance to Orson Welles.
On 4/26/1998, in prison, I copied these excerpts from Lawrence Ferlinghetti's "Populist Manifesto" into my journal:
"Poets come out of your closets Open your windows, open your doors, You have been holed-up too long in your closed worlds...
No time now for the artist to hide above, beyond, behind the scenes, indifferent, paring his fingernails, refining himself out of existence No time now for our little literary games, no time now for our paranoias & hypochondrias, no time now for fear & loathing, time now only for light and love."
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 10:12 AM
I don't know if people can ever transcend their closed worlds, their cliques, their pettiness... I hope so. I think there are as many definitions of art as there are artists, as many definitions of poetry as there are poems... but the tendency is to exclude rather than include..
Posted by shady lady on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 2:11 PM
And I agree with your assessment about definitions of poetry. I tend to have two different personal definitions. One "poetry," to me, is very broad and inclusive - by this definition, I can consider almost anything "poetry," if I look at it the right way. My second personal definition I call "poetry," too (but said with more gravity) - and is reserved for work I consider truly great, or at least to a large degree "pure" or "good." Impossible for me to really define these criteria, however, since they really depend of my state of mind at the time....
Emily Dickinson's words are dear to me:
"To see a Summer Sky Is Poetry, though never in a book it lie. True poems flee."
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 2:44 PM
this kind of reminds me of what i was going to say on wednesday's blog about poetry slams. i started to write something long and unoriginal and got lost trying to find the right (write) words, and deleted it. what you and lady have said pretty much says what i wanted to, but with more originality and much better words.
Posted by Susannah Dean on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 6:58 PM
I appreciate your comment, and I certainly enjoyed Wednesday's slam blog. She tricked me with the title, though, as I thought she was going to slam George Bush!
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 8:57 PM
I performed Merle Haggard's "Mama Tried" with a country band in prison. I have that concert on VHS, but am not sure how to get it uploaded onto MySpace.
take it to a photo place and have them transfer it to dvd. does your computer have a dvd drive? or, if your handy, you could hook up a vcr to to dvr and do it yourself.
11 years in prison left me a bit tech challenged. But I'm a quick learner if I try to figure something out. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. One of these days, when I have time and motivation, the video may appear here.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 2:53 PM
mmmm Sting... wish he had been on my first trip... which was a Disneyland of all places, I have it in a blog archive somewhere - and wow, Extreme, that is probably one of my fav CD's - I have no idea where it's at however..
thanks for the trip, no pun intended unless you like it, and the memories <3
I'm not sure why, but I never ended up buying that Extreme CD. Maybe I will, now that I've rediscovered this.
But I did return to Sting's The Soul Cages. Several years later, while in prison, my friend Ike gave me a copy of the cassette when he was paroled. On several levels it seemed to be an especially appropriate "album" for that environment.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 11:15 PM
electric kool-aid acid test is THE book of the 60s. glad i read it after i was there. and once you've tripped, you never HAVE to trip again, so read it whenever.
other books (totally off the drug hippy subject) that changed my life this past year:
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed - Jared Diamond Tell Me No Lies - John Pilger Civilization - A New History Of The Western World - Roger Osborne. The Shock Doctine - Naomi Klein
Posted by Smith on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:19 AM
I read Do It! in high school (c. 1984) - I remember very little from it except a photo of an attractive nude woman serving serving some politician (I think) a pig's head on a silver platter. I have never read We Are Everywhere, however. Thanks for the recommendation!
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 9, 2007 - Sunday at 9:22 PM
Speaking of Kesey, that was (I believe) the same year I read his One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. At the time I ranked it as one of the ten greatest novels ever written. I wonder how I'd feel if I re-read it today.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 11:00 PM
I try and read Cuckoo's Nest every few years, also one of my top ten! The two pages that talk about the monopoly game have to be two of the best pages ever written.
I read Koolaid Acid Test before doing acid for the first time too.. too funny; but then I went to Ohio University so you can well imagine what ensued.
My first trip was St. Patrick's day in downtown Cleveland; that was an adventure! I saw an earlier post mentioning Disney, also a great place to trip or roll.
Ah the good old days. :^) Thanks for the reminiscences.
Posted by Kelly on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 12:16 AM
I never tripped when I was out and about. The first two times were at home and the third was in a prison cell. That may make it into a future blog. (-;
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:12 AM
In response to your below comment, I had no idea Kesey'd written all those. I always thought Cuckoo's Nest was it for him - kinda like Margaret Mitchell and Gone with the Wind.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 1:56 PM
can't find your reply button on your reply below so here be answer: his 1st novel was Sometimes A Great Notion, made into a film starring paul newman. book was very good. movie only so-so. later came out with a book of fragments called i believe Demon Box which i read part of.
o wow, just checked - had no idea:
* One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. New York: Viking. 1962. * Sometimes a Great Notion. New York: Viking. 1964. * Genesis West volume five was published in the Fall of 1963 as a celebration of Ken Kesey. This volume includes works by Ken and interview of Ken by Gordon Lish. * Kesey's Garage Sale. New York: Viking. 1973. * Northwest Review Book: Kesey, collection of notes, manuscripts and drawings originally published in 1977, reissued 2001 by University of Oregon Press. * Demon Box. New York: Penguin. 1986. * Caverns. New York: Penguin. 1990. * The Further Inquiry (screenplay). New York: Viking. 1990. * Sailor Song. New York: Viking, Penguin. 1992. * Last Go Round (with Ken Babbs). New York: Viking. 1994. * Twister (play). New York: Viking. 1999. * Kesey's Jail Journal: Cut the Motherfuckers Loose. New York: Viking. 2003.
Posted by Smith on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 1:47 PM
At 24 everything seemed to invite us to taste, try, love, and learn. I imagine when you read your journal, you wonder about the who, what, where's and why's I did.
Thank you for sharing that.
Posted by CONNIE on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 10:51 PM
Well that was a trip, lol! I'd be afraid to listen to pop music while on acid myself. Not that I have ever done acid myself, which I haven't, but if I did, I'm just saying!
I don't think when I took it I intended to spend the whole night watching MTV (or any TV). But as John Lennon sang, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 11:17 PM
Acid never really did much for me but I did get third degree burns while tripping on Magic mushrooms. I was on holidays at the beach and I thought I had a big umbrella over me all day. Then I had to go and sleep in a tent and my blisters turned into big fat water balloons. I"m still waiting for the melanomas..... ooowaaa.... drugs are bad for ya
I did a half a hit once when I was leaveing rhode Island to move to Pa .we had a good bye party but I kept crying and couldn't stop every thing made me cry. So I never did it again. That was 20 years ago......now I feel old.
Posted by CEGGY on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 11:23 PM
I never had a bad trip. But I always did it in a relatively, controlled, comfortable, and secure environment - never in a car or around a lot of people.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 2, 2007 - Sunday at 11:27 PM
I read and enjoyed this blog, John. April 1991 was right in the middle of the post Georgetown Animals psychedelic renaissance in Elyria. I've never written on acid, but I have done art on acid. In fact, in my pics section, "the 25th Anniversary of the Human Be-In" poster was done in part while tripping, and had a beer kicked over on it by Melanie Barry at the same party. I have recorded my voice thoughts during portions of psychedelic experiences on microcassettes, which I'd then transcribe from later. I wrote a chapter in my Memoirs called "The Purple Paper Eaters", and we did everything BUT watch TV while on a powerful LSD trip... 1,225 mics. I find it interesting that you have been overtaken by nostalgic impulses lately, that you wish to record these pre-Word experiences (ha!) now. Yes, they are... cathartic. I wish I could snap my fingers and have over 4,300 pages of written Memoirs transcribed in Word format. I have been writing a lot more recently, partly too because I have taken ill as of late and I wish to capture my most important thoughts for posterity, as well as undertaking processes to capture my art and photos digitally. John, I think you are spending entirely too much time on Myspace! You are "brave" enough... Talk to you later, Dave 216-322-6082
Posted by ~ DAVE'S PLACE ~ on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 12:03 AM
I guess this is cathartic for you. Sex, drugs and rock and roll memories. I wonder where you got the idea for this but I guess jail birds of a feather flock together. That may be your excuse for the mea culpa of your childish pecadillos. I'm glad Smith has recovered and hope you do also. Now I guess I can expect at least three or four pages of comment. It is very time consuming to answer every comment, isn't it? See you in the funny papers.
Posted by Elena on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 8:24 AM
Jesus Claus, there are no Christmas trees in Jerusalem or Bethlehem,just desert palms. May you have a happy winter solstice with snow, ice, going broke buying Christmas presents, drinking egg nog and all those wonderful holiday goodies to eat, like a chocolate Jesus. Have a wonderful Christ mess as you have had for the past few years with your grandkiddies and wife. Just don't get stuck in your driveway again. This picture is funnier than the funny papers ever were. lol
Posted by Elena on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:56 AM
But there are in Lebanon, I imagine. If Jesus had been born farther north, they might have hung him from a Lebanon cedar like a broken ornament instead of nailing him to a cross.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 5:08 PM
I've been blogging in the nostalgia confessional recently . The wind whispered for me on Jimi Hendrix' 65th birthday . I've enjoyed taking this trip down the lane with you and look forward to the next peek into your past .
Posted by Edwinna on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 1:00 AM
I tried to go to bed a few times in the middle of that entry. But sleep was impossible... and seemed like a waste. I also didn't want my girlfriend to know I was tripping.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 10:38 AM
First thought ... you are brave ... more than most, definitely more than me, at least "me" at this point in my life. We are all so beautifully flawed, but very few are willing to share that particular beauty with anyone. I admire your desire to share what the masses consider flaws or "sins" against society.
Posted by LisaTx65 on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 1:28 AM
It's funny how when you hit 40 you find you start reflecting on the earlier parts of your life to get perspective. And once you start... it never ends... so hang on for the ride. Self-discovery.... I call it the real "final frontier". The exploration of the Self can be one of the most meaningful adventures, the most difficult and the most rewarding. But it requires brutal honesty with yourself. Something that is not easy but becomes familiar with practice. I read this blog with interest. Because , this lifetime, drugs have not been my issue. I've never used them recreationally. I have other issues. So I don't say it with any smugness or anything. So it interests me to have a small peek at someone elses experimentations and such. Someone brave enough to pull back a little bit of that protective veil we wrap ourselves in.
I find I learn alot about myself when I read a personal blog by someone else. Because it frequently will resonate with some portion of my own life or some struggle or another I've had . And it usually percipitates a lot of self reflection on my own life. So thank you for being so brave in sharing a portion of yourself that may not be as tidy as other parts... but yet has made you who you are today... an interesting and thoughtful human being.
Posted by Rune Warrior on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 3:17 AM
I love that Extreme cd...grins This was great, I never took acid, I did get given mushrooms twice when I was 18....the first time was with a college friend old John (he was late 40's I think) and a traveller friend he had staying with him in his caravan. I lay cuddled up on the floor to the New Zealand guy who I wanted to keep and laughed at the ceiling for about an hour. My ex walked in he was Iranian and had wooed me with serenading me in his ex sister in laws pub. He was lovely but quite an angry guy, I had been both upset and relieved when he went back to London. I thought I would never see him again, this would be the real last time....he was the first person I painted in water colour. I just spent a happy hour in my art room finding it. I found other things as well but not the autograph book yet.... He borrowed a pencil and made a straw of cigarette papers, proceeded to suck up a mixture from a bag of some kind presumably weed in some mix. We all smoked, laughed, talked and had a sing song as he played my guitar, then he left. The next day I would have thought it was my imagination apart from the 'Billy was 'ere' comment in my autograph book...I still have that somewhere, it was instead of having my shirt signed when I left one school to go to another.... The second time I took mushrooms we swallowed the wrap then went down the pub, as it started to hit we walked back up to my flat. Was it Muppet or Ziggy we saw on the way, I think it was Muppet, he was a biker I knew. The friend I was with was talking to him and I was standing there thinking I was doing well at trying to act normal. He just turned round to me without warning and said, "Why are you trying to act straight you stoned person you?" I never remember how I got to the floor but I remember rolling about there laughing. A few minutes later I was home in my flat alone. The witches coming out of the wallpaper put me off ever trying them again.....lol Happy sharing warts and all....I love it both doing so and reading others doing so....smiles We are all human with flawed pasts and flaws we can work on and ones we learn to accept...grins
"His disciples said, 'When will you be shown forth to us and when shall we behold you?'
"Jesus answered, 'When you strip naked without being ashamed - and like little children take your garments and put them under your feet and tread on them - then you will see the child of the living. And you will not be afraid.'"
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 12:08 PM
Wow. I really enjoyed that. Like a trip down memory lane—except for the acid part lol! And, hey, whatsa matter with Great White? I look forward to more like this and definitely to your book.
Gee, it's only 7:30 a.m. and already there are two pages of comments. So just to keep the acid stories going here's one for you from Oberlin, drug center of Ohio in the 70's and 80's.
After taking a purple pill (I think it was purple) while walking to a friend's house in the evening this victim of LSD went to his friend's room where the effect hit him. Colors started to flash all around and while trying to tie the laces on his boots they turned into snakes. Deciding to get out and walk around he thought he was flying and while on Tappan Square he heard police sirens all around. All the clocks were turning backward in reverse. I guess he flew home and finally chilled out. Somewhere he heard of someone flying off a balcony and killing himself so I don't believe there was a second hit on LSD. The son of a friend of mine took something like LSD and has never been right since. He ended up in a psych ward in the Cleveland Clinic and after that stayed at home the rest of his life doing transcendental meditation. Does this sound familiar?
Posted by Elena on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 8:58 AM
It always great when one can cross back over the bridge to see where one came from. My drug of choice was Cocaine only about a $2,000 habit a week ha! Needles were a big part of that. Working for the Mafia was quite and experience. how I got out of all that is still a mystery to me. But with all our experiences we can share and hopefully help others. Never been to jail but could have. We use to ship cocaine in the old cable boxes ha. It scares me looking back. I wouldn't last in jail I am toooo chicken.
Namaste'
Posted by shyloh on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:12 AM
It's hard to imagine you being a part of that, and that being part of your becoming a sublime soul.
I copied this into my prison journal on 9 January 1998:
"... in spite of the most debasing experiences that life can offer a man, the spirit of love survives to ennoble our lives if we have the wit and the courage and the faith - and the art! to persist." - William Carlos Williams, from his introduction to Allan Ginsberg's Howl and other Poems.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 12:18 PM
thank you. we too enjoyed the heck out of visiting you and Mrs Claus - or is she still Mrs Crisis and you're living in sin?
the dinner she made was fantastic - as was the baked almond brie for dessert. good food, good conversation, and a lot of culture to graze gaze makes a great evening.
Aldous Huxley's The Door's of Perception is what made me have to try LSD - that, and Time and Look magazine blasting it all over their covers month after month. Jack Kerouac's On The Road for grass, Huxley for acid, and William Burroughs for all the rest. see kids, reading great literature can be bad for your social acceptance.
i took to acid like a positively charged electron to a negative shell orbit. tripped a couple hundred times over 30 years. in retrospect, a couple acid trips might have done it, but magic mushrooms can be done forever.
when i was kicked out of the u.s. naval academy in 1968 for smoking marijuana, i swore there were two things i'd never do - drop LSD, or use a needle, because i was too crazy and LSD would push me over the edge, and everybody knows using needles leads to the darkside. two weeks later in baltimore i'd done both.
my advise in retrospect? use magic mushrooms instead of LSD, and skip the needles.
anyway, glad to have met you, glad to be beginning to know you. you're one of the good ones, bound only to be better.
Posted by Smith on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:14 AM
I always found needles frightening, and was never tempted to try them. I'm even attempting to get out of having a flu shot this year. Guess that makes me lucky... unless I get the flu.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:48 AM
I'm so glad that you are doing this! I am so proud of you. It is hard telling your life story warts and all. Maybe you will inspire other people to do the same. I have been giving out a lot of secrets on myspace. It's sary, but it's cathartic too. You know I thought that my biggest secret was really going to make people hate me. It has had that effect on people. I found just the opposite to be true.
So many people are going to relate to living this very promising life and then in a moment having it all taken away. That's what happened to me. I can tell you the date and time that my life imploded. It will never be the same, but that's okay. I was amazed how many people related my experience to something in their own lives, and I relate my experience to your incarcration. They are not the same, yet they are the same. It's about losing everything and starting over. I can't wait to read more about how you worked through those ll years and all the years that followed. I think that you are going to find this blog incredibly popular.
Your first one was great. When you talked about reading what you wrote later, it reminded me of the term papers that sounded so brilliant at 4:00 a.m. and were do at 11:00 a.m. Around 9:00 a.m I would realize, I can't hand this in!
Posted by Tara on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 9:38 AM
I recall well the days of late-hour night-before term papers. Once a favorite professor held up a copy of one of my last-minute rush-jobs and hailed it as an excellent example of a well-thought-out, take-your-time-and-make-it-perfect sort of essay. He gave me an A+.
Not good... it led to me being an even lazier writer for quite a while... until a later professor checked me quite sternly on it.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 12:35 PM
OOOOO MAH GOSH! You made sense in your drug induced writing. Yes it made sense. It was raw, honest and strange! What can I say? Now I feel like I have the hives. LOL
On My Space we now can read not only your life's story but also your wife's story. Keep writing and it may become books for both of you. Are you both still vegetarians? I can make vegetarian quiche and broccoli supreme. Maybe I should invite y'all, Smith and Lady here for a fireside chat one of these cold nights. Then I might write my memoirs.
Posted by Elena on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 12:11 PM
Sounds like you had a fun trip. I haven't read any of the responses yet, but I have some awesome drug stories of my own I'd like to share. They're definitely more "shameful" than enjoying some acid (i.e. crystal meth and hard liquor induced nude streaking through the freeing 3 am neighborhood trying to sexually assault and rob people Feb. 2005, anyone?).
Always too scared to try acid because of my psychotic reaction to the weakest of hallucinogens (marijuana makes me 100% depersonalized, severely manic and depressed at the same time and so paranoid I'm convinced to a tee that everyone can hear my thoughts), I actually did eat magic mushrooms once; two grams, however, I didn't trip. I know they couldn't have been duds because everyone else who had them from the same batch were tripping balls: my friend was having a delightful conversation with his cigarette, everyone else in the bedroom were watching Ghostbusters as if they were at the Epcott Center and comparing the chihuahuas in the room to Nerf balls (literally... not cool), and one kid kept approaching a Deftones "White Pony" poster, sneaking up to it, giggling... only to jump back in absolute fucking terror as soon as he got an inch away from it. The process repeated until he began to freeze from the indoor rain he hallucinated.
I beheld this entire spectacle and was angry that U didn't feel the same; later I was told that you can't combine alcohol with psychadelics and expect much of anything, because alcohol usurps everything other than hard drugs, basically. I'd be damned if I couldn't combine my 100 proof drug of choice with something, so I never messed around with acid, more shrooms, x, robo, mescaline, etc. in the future.
It seemed that on LSD how much I drank didn't matter. Alcohol had no effect. But I only combined the two twice, so I have no idea if my experience was typical.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 1:33 PM
In response to the above comments, one of my son's friends became totally out of control after taking too many hits on just about everything. One night he was dancing in a jump suit barefoot in front of my house and when we invited him to come in he thought it was raining inside and that Noah was building the ark. Sometimes, however, he did wax poetic and talked about bible stories as if he were there. He now is ok and has been on medication for a long time. That was the worst case of real drug abuse I encountered. Of course, some of my students had heroin addictions and most of them dropped out. They looked just terrible all the time in my classes.
This is to Smith: If you are going to Mexico I lived in Mexico City during three summers when Oberlin College had a summer program there. More recently I have traveled with the epigraphers and archeologists to Mexico to Mayan ruins in the Yucatan, Guatemala and Honduras. Oaxaca is an interesting place with Monte Alban, the Zapotec hilltop site. I even gave a course at LCCC called Ancient Civilizations of Mexico and have tons of pictures and slides. The last time I was there was at the Mesa Redonda with over 400 Mayanists who gave papers in Palenque. So if you can come over with John and Geri I will make a vegetarian dinner and we can talk. John has my email addressa.
Posted by Elena on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 2:21 PM
And I would like to have you over again. It has been an eternity of time since you were here last. Remember that the invitation didn't just include Smith and Lacy but I would have love to talk to them also about Mexico, one of my favorite places in this world.
Posted by Elena on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 8:50 PM
This is a great blog. Where we've been certainly = who we are. Thank goodness I never did acid. I could be sitting here listening to Warrant, instead of U2. Mucho kudos, amigo.
Posted by Don on December 3, 2007 - Monday at 4:38 PM
Now that I have read all the blogs today, before I go to bed I must relate some information about Mayan culture that I learned at the Maya Hieroglyph conference at Cleveland State. We all know that peyote and marijuana and other such drugs are common among the rituals of the Native Americans. However, on the Mayan pots and in the glyphs are depictions of alcoholic substances being induced into bodies by enemas. This, of course, prevents the nausea that comes from imbibing too much and results in extreme drunkenness. The Romans, as we all know, (don't we?) had vomitoriums (sp.?) after their wine imbibing banquets. However, Tim Leary, actually thought that hallucinations were preferable to total intoxication. Thank the Goddess I never tried any of them but find the results interesting. I also learned in Peru that the coca leaf grown and sold in every street was used by the Inca and other Peruvian natives is used to prevent altitude sickness in the Andes. This also makes it possible to work at great heights for hours on end without eating or sleeping. When I flew from Lima to Cuzco when we got to the hotel they had us sit down and drink coca tea. It is only when the coca leaf is mixed with toxic acids and stirred for hours that it results in cocaine. The Peruvians think we in this country are nuts to take cocaine but it is a very lucrative crop in the Andes and gives the farmers there a better living than growing corn. Then there are the poppies of Afghanistan. But that is another interesting story. Heroin kills....not only addicts but those who depend on it for keeping the country prosperous (85% of the heroin comes from there.) My thought is if marijuana and other such substances were legal it would be like cigarettes, soon everybody would give it up or die young and the drug lords wouldn't make a dime. It would be taxed like cigarettes or gas. But isn't it more fun to do things that are illegal than pay taxes? Also we could empty the prisons since most are there for selling or taking illegal drugs. lol.
Posted by Elena on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 12:31 AM
I gave a speech in Nancy Kelley's class many years ago (spring 1990) about why marijuana should be legalized. I believe I've also discussed that on other blogs. And I haven't smoked it in years - dont really have any desire. But it should be legal and taxed, I think, just like tobacco and alcoholic beverages.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 12:40 AM
I think all the soft drugs should be legalized — pot, shrooms, peyote, and LSD (despite acid being one of the most powerful drugs on the planet, it's still considered soft compared to the addictive, body-destroying ones — strong opiates, cocaine, methamphetamines and the legal King Alcohol).
Then I remember how Bill Hicks explained why it was necessary for magic mushrooms to have the government attach felony status to their possession:
"I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going 'My God, I love everything.' The heavens parted, God looked down and rained gifts of forgiveness, acceptance and eternal love from his unconditional heart, and I realized the true nature of my existence, of all our existence, is God's perfect and holy sunship, that we are spirit, we are not bodies, we are mind, we are thoughts in God's mind, his beloved children, and that has never changed, and anytime that you look through the body's eyes you are seeing illusions.
I'm glad they're against the law, because imagine how that would fuck up this country."
Now this actually gives me a different sort of idea of what LSD is really like. Too many friends of mine have stories that all strike a similar chord. "Dude, I totally saw pink elephants and got chased by a boot that was trying to eat me!"
Never really tried the stuff and I probably never will. I'm well on my way to becoming an alcoholic instead. >
wow. are you sure they were on acid and acid alone? sounds more like angel dust to me. maybe acid i different now than it was when i used it? is that possible? i don't know much about chemistry except when it comes to baking (foods, not myself). interesting.
Posted by Susannah Dean on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 3:09 PM
Thanks for the post! I read through most of the comments as well as your journal entry, and they have really spoken to me about bravery, and not being ashamed to share my own thoughts, feelings and experiences. Its something I continue to work on. I'll briefly share mine: *first trip - a bad one where a "friend" thought it would be funny to stick 5 hits on my tongue and tease me all night. Needless to say, I did not get to thoroughly enjoy it, and didn't try many times after. Thanks again for your post, and to all of your friend that contributed to my experience of it through their replies. -Kelly
Posted by Kelly on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 8:37 PM
I was very afraid of letting my "friends" have a say in my "trip," and so the three times I tried LSD I resisted the temptation to share the experience with anyone. The first two times, I was at home with my girlfreind who had no I idea I was tripping - and the third time I was in prison, locked in a cell overnight with a cellie who was sleeping and had no idea I was tripping. My view was that LSD to a large extent intensifies your experience. If you're secure, you'll have a secure trip. If you're insecure, or things are happening around you that you can't control, your insecurity or lack of control may be amplified, leading to a bad trip.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 11:16 PM
Questions, questions, oh, so many questions...but I will ask just one. What was the arrest and prison term for? Curious...If you've been over this before, just link me to the info. That little experience was almost enough to make me a bit curious about acid, but just a bit. Drugs are bad and I say no to them. BTW, loving the picture!
Posted by Paula on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 10:35 PM
I say no now, too. But back then I think, to some degree, I was afraid I was missing out on something.
There are clues to the "why" of my incarceration in my previous blogs, but I've never really told the whole tale. I'm writing a book about it and have been torn regarding how much to give away on MySpace. But I have recently made up my mind to share more.
It's really a long, long story... but I've posted a tiny bit more in my newest blog.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 4, 2007 - Tuesday at 11:15 PM
Makes me wish I took acid!!!!! Sounds like it was a great ride! ; ) And what a cute, innocent face and really awful black (are they leather) pants! LOL
Posted by What's in a Name? on December 5, 2007 - Wednesday at 6:19 PM
They are indeed leather. I've only worn them twice in the 21st century... as part of my pirate costume for Halloween 2006 and 2007. I surprised, however, that they actually still fit.
Posted by Jesus Crisis on December 5, 2007 - Wednesday at 7:18 PM
2/11/2008 5:18 AMDANA wrote:
THAT WAS FUNNY I PERSONALLY HAVE NEVER DONE IT BUT MY SISTER DID. AND UNFURTUNATELY FOR ME IT WAS BEFORE I TOOK HERAND HER FRIENDS SHOPPING AT THE MALL. SHE BELIEVED SHE WAS IN STRAWBERRY LAND. Reply to this
4/16/2008 8:11 PM
B wrote:
Please don't take any more drugs... it seems lame to say - mostly when you are on them or do them - yet after many years of rehab and 12 steps and people who are no longer here because they thought they could just try it once - I was curious - you only live one - I am not addicted anyone needs a hit now and then etc. etc. no one is the one person that is different - that is what the drugs depends on - you thinking you are the one person that it wont matter - some are lucky some are not but if it is sooner or latter either way it catches up and in one way or another ends the relationship between families, friendships dreams and time - it will rob you from a good life in the long run and in the long run when a life is addicted to drugs THAT IS THE ULTIMATE BUZZ KILL - life is good when other addictions and curious wonders of life is explored with natural highs - may your next trip be traveling around the world to open your mind - may the next journey of the ultimate high being that you fall in love with the right person and may you know this is out of my experience that I had to survive and not a lesson that is different then most who would never take the time or care to share - I just decided to because I do - may you live a long happy and healthy life and get high from living your dreams - PEACE. Reply to this
4/16/2008 8:43 PM
Jesus Crisis wrote:
I haven't done drugs in years, my friend - unless you count that antibiotic the dentist gave me when I had my root canal - or the Tylenol my wife makes me take.... I very much appreciate you stopping by and sharing your experience and feelings with us, B. Peace.... Reply to this
4/16/2008 8:17 PM
Pugzz wrote:
The only times I did it I went dancing (Disco era!) all night and tripped to the lights, music and later, sex. I wish I would have waited and tried peyote or something like it with a Shaman. It would have more meaning... Never say never, maybe I'll do it on my 80th birthday. Reply to this
4/16/2008 8:49 PM
Jesus Crisis wrote:
LOL... I've never done peyote. Must admit to still having a level of intrigue about it....
I wonder how old I'll be on your 80th birthday. Reply to this
4/16/2008 11:08 PM
shyloh wrote:
I know I posted to this then. But this made me so smile. Where we were and where we are now.. It is so wonderful. And to be honest.. I am nowhere YET!!! Reply to this
if you think you are nowhere you are still someone and someone beats somewhere anyday
i'm "nowhere" yet either....
it's also amazing how different the blog situation was for me four or five months ago. when i posted this, i was coming off a string of number 1 blogs in myspace's "religion and philosophy" category. this blog alone had about 150 comments (by comparison, none of my crisischronicles blogs have had over 100 comments). when i went to copy the MySpace comments into this blog last night, i noticed that many were missing, because the profiles of several people who'd left comments have since been deleted. then there were several others who left very kind comments at the time, but have subsequently deleted me from their friends after my revelation about why I'd been in prison (which wasn't really a revelation after all, because I had mentioned it in many earlier blogs). one of them deleted me after proclaiming how fond she was of "truth" as opposed to the tao te ching and such. my feelings were very hurt at the time. but i also find a bit of amusement in it. i guess not all folks are meant to be friends forever - as others are. Reply to this
THAT WAS FUNNY I PERSONALLY HAVE NEVER DONE IT BUT MY SISTER DID. AND UNFURTUNATELY FOR ME IT WAS BEFORE I TOOK HERAND HER FRIENDS SHOPPING AT THE MALL. SHE BELIEVED SHE WAS IN STRAWBERRY LAND.
Reply to this
Haha... "Strawberry Fields Forever!"
Thanks, Dana!
Reply to this
Please don't take any more drugs... it seems lame to say - mostly when you are on them or do them - yet after many years of rehab and 12 steps and people who are no longer here because they thought they could just try it once - I was curious - you only live one - I am not addicted anyone needs a hit now and then etc. etc. no one is the one person that is different - that is what the drugs depends on - you thinking you are the one person that it wont matter - some are lucky some are not but if it is sooner or latter either way it catches up and in one way or another ends the relationship between families, friendships dreams and time - it will rob you from a good life in the long run and in the long run when a life is addicted to drugs THAT IS THE ULTIMATE BUZZ KILL - life is good when other addictions and curious wonders of life is explored with natural highs - may your next trip be traveling around the world to open your mind - may the next journey of the ultimate high being that you fall in love with the right person and may you know this is out of my experience that I had to survive and not a lesson that is different then most who would never take the time or care to share - I just decided to because I do - may you live a long happy and healthy life and get high from living your dreams - PEACE.
Reply to this
I haven't done drugs in years, my friend - unless you count that antibiotic the dentist gave me when I had my root canal - or the Tylenol my wife makes me take....
I very much appreciate you stopping by and sharing your experience and feelings with us, B. Peace....
Reply to this
The only times I did it I went dancing (Disco era!) all night and tripped to the lights, music and later, sex. I wish I would have waited and tried peyote or something like it with a Shaman. It would have more meaning... Never say never, maybe I'll do it on my 80th birthday.
Reply to this
LOL... I've never done peyote. Must admit to still having a level of intrigue about it....
I wonder how old I'll be on your 80th birthday.
Reply to this
I know I posted to this then. But this made me so smile. Where we were and where we are now.. It is so wonderful. And to be honest.. I am nowhere YET!!!
Reply to this
lol... indeed
if you think you are nowhere
you are still someone
and someone beats somewhere anyday
i'm "nowhere" yet either....
it's also amazing how different the blog situation was for me four or five months ago. when i posted this, i was coming off a string of number 1 blogs in myspace's "religion and philosophy" category. this blog alone had about 150 comments (by comparison, none of my crisischronicles blogs have had over 100 comments). when i went to copy the MySpace comments into this blog last night, i noticed that many were missing, because the profiles of several people who'd left comments have since been deleted. then there were several others who left very kind comments at the time, but have subsequently deleted me from their friends after my revelation about why I'd been in prison (which wasn't really a revelation after all, because I had mentioned it in many earlier blogs). one of them deleted me after proclaiming how fond she was of "truth" as opposed to the tao te ching and such. my feelings were very hurt at the time. but i also find a bit of amusement in it. i guess not all folks are meant to be friends forever - as others are.
Reply to this