Holier Than Thou
[a poem from 1998-1999, year six celled]
i'm still
down
this
hole
down
this
deep
dank
dreary
well
i quit crawlingasfastasicould
when i realized i was getting
no
where
And i learned
to dance
like earthworms
and ants
for days now
I've heard
you
w
a
y
up
there
bustling
noisily
saving
me
But I no longer
believe
or believe I care
to care
i'm still
down
this
hole
down
this
deep
dank
dreary
well
i quit crawlingasfastasicould
when i realized i was getting
no
where
And i learned
to dance
like earthworms
and ants
for days now
I've heard
you
w
a
y
up
there
bustling
noisily
saving
me
But I no longer
believe
or believe I care
to care
I love it! I have felt this way many times!
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Thanks, Angela!
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love to live, evolve from evil. read this backward, rise and fly and cry no more.
peace...Elena
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You remind me of a line from Ferlinghetti's Her:
"...love spelled backwards running into revolt and evolution...."
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If rs a god being up there, who knows if it cares.
By the way, I forgot to mention another couple favorite venues. Once a month Mac's Back's has a Wednesday poetry reading, and the Literary Cafe in Tremont has a really hip reading once a month on a Friday.
There are so many good Cleveland poets for you to discover - it's a universe, and it's right in yr backyard.
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Cool... thanks!
Love going to Mac's for books, but have not yet been there for a reading. And I've never been to the Literary Cafe, though I recently found it on MySpace and thought it seemed cool. I'll be there!
Interesting that you brought up the god concept....
At the time I wrote this, I was reading Henry Miller's Tropic of Capricorn, in which he wrote, "Not God but life is love. Love, love, love. And in the midst of it walks this young man, myself."
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the literary cafe is the 2nd thursday of each month - and i think it's the best place to read in the city.
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Cool... thanks!
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I find this one interesting... I wish you could share a little about this style of poetry.. You use it frequently and I'd like to know more. about it.. is it free form or what?
Thanks...
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It's about as free as it gets.
Not sure what to call it really... just an attempt to make the form/appearance of the poem match the substance.
Especially handwritten, it just seemed to feel right this way.
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Wonderful. I really feel that one. Namaste'
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Thanks, Shyloh!
Namaste....
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Excellent!!! I loved it!
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Thank you very much, Krystika!
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the visual styling of this poem works very well with the words used to make it that way.
i especially like the first stanza taking me down into the well, the use of one your favorite devices, alliteration, and the way
w
a
y
looks, taking the eye upwards, like a painting might do.
this poem works equally well when read aloud, using the visual manner of its presentation.
thank you for sharing it.
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You're welcome. Thank you!
One of the minor changes I made when posting it today was to break the word "way" up like that. I also added the line breaks before and after "you," to emphasize distance. Originally that section read:
for days now
I've heard
you
way
up
there
bustling
One other change I made... the original read:
And I learned
to have fun
like earthworms
and ants
I replaced "have fun" with "dance," and then switched to the lower case i before "learned."
Now he doesn't become a capital I until he's learned.
One final change I made today... the original ending read:
But I no longer
believe
or care
But that was untrue, so I expanded it to the more accurate "But I no longer / believe / or believe I care / to care," which also allowed me to allude to and repeat the dancing indentation of the lines "And i learned / to dance / like earthworms / and ants."
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your font fiddling focused the phrasing.
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Fabulous!
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Thanks for sharing this discussion on the process you went thru writing this... I found it very helpful... and instructive.
I think it's beautiful how you both know poetry so well and share your love of it with others... by discussing details like this.
Fabulous..
thanks... from all the novices out here.
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Sometimes I fear that if I share too much it detracts from the poem. Glad to know you feel otherwise.
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This is probably my favorite so far! "I quit crawling as fast as I could when I realized I was getting nowhere". I relate to that line!! Very nice JC!
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Thank you, Susan! Your comment means a lot to me.
I forgot to mention above that the title just occurred to me this morning. In my original journal, there are half a dozen titles with lines through them, including "Institutionalized" and something about "Baby Jessica." Those encapsulated certain mundane aspects of the poem well (like its relation to prison), but completely ignored other aspects (like the religious, which Lady alluded to above). "Holier Than Thou," finally, is a title I don't foresee wanting to excise.
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Easily one of your best prison poems (that you've posted so far-- who knows what other treasures are waiting to be unearthed?)... The Minister really likes this one, dear Crisis... good, strong title; second stanza, as Susan has pointed out, is superb; third stanza is great--love the words; and your updated revisions to the ending are spot-on.
Another triumph, JC! Very aural; will lend itself well to being read aloud at the readings, I believe. Do you have any more prison poems in a similar vein? Perhaps you could group them into a loose "triptych" (a word I've chosen for illustration, since you've been into the art scene with your poems recently...)--as Chris has stated, you did employ this form of free verse fairly frequently in your journals, it seems. Congratulations! on another perfect poem....
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Thank you very much, Sir Minister! I respect your opinion greatly.
Depends on what you mean by "in a similar vein"... I've got probably thousands of very old poems. A large number of them (like this one) could benefit greatly from some minor, thoughtful revisions. I had lower standards back then - though I didn't know it at the time.
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The well of your poem reminds me of being in a dark place but it also reminds me of a meditation by Ira Progoff, in his Jungian journal Workshop. It is called "The Well" and is suggestive of going deep in thought to the underground river where we all connect with each other with thoughts and our lives flowing together. Your poetry sometimes has a depth of sadness
that touches all of us realizing where you were when you wrote this. Perhaps the hole you were in then now looks holier than it did then because you survived to express your thoughts of then with the revision of now. The form of the written word sometimes takes on a meaning but putting it to vocal reading or even to music takes it up to a place above us where it is whole when recited even if not holy. I don't pretend to be a critic, just someone who empathizes on your wave length.
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Thank you, Elena. I appreciate your insights.
Of course I wasn't familiar with Progoff when I wrote this - but the poem now seems to have many layers of meaning that I did not see back then.
The Cloud of Unknowing by Ira Progoff sits on the shelf next to me.
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that sounds like a prison poem. sad.
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"Baby Jessica," that girl in Texas who fell down a well, was all over the news. And I could very much empathize with how she must have felt.
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I love reading your poems and I hope you will share more. They truly speak to me in that it paints a picture of your feelings. What totally makes me believe in you is the way you respond to every person who comments and you make each of them, (myself included) feel worthy. I am in awe of the depth of your feelings, your intelligence, your honesty.
The truth of who you are is evident in all that you write. It makes me know in my heart that you could never be guilty of anything cruel or humiliating.
I wish you the best in all that you do.
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You are so very kind, Susan [I say while blushing a bit - but since I don't know how to create an emoticon for blushing, I'll give you my customary wink].
I consider it a tremendous honor to have friends like you.
Namaste....
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Your poetry always manages to stop my thoughts and send me in a different direction as I ponder your words.
(Hi John, I'm slowly coming back to cyber-world as I recover from my surgery, J.)
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Thank you, Jane! It's good to see you again!
My thoughts and best wishes go out to you.
Peace....
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