Poetry Joy, Easy Off My Rocker and Stove Top Rap
First of all I'm pleased to announce that New York City poet Joy Leftow — who you might recall is the production editor of the Cartier Street Review, author of Spot of Bleach, and involved so many other cool poetic endeavors I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to name them all if I tried — has been kind enough to publish my "Low Kay Shun" on her renowned poetry blog (http://joyleftowsblog.blogspot.com). Check it out! And thank you, Joy!
Here's the permalink to my poem:
http://joyleftowsblog.blogspot.com/2009/02/low-kay-shun-by-john-burroughs.html.
Second.... The other day I had an unintentionally close encounter with some oven cleaner. We have a self-cleaning oven — but cleaning the top of the stove requires a human touch. There'd been some baked on blackness on the stove top that I simply could not eliminate with any recommended chemical or amount of elbow grease. It was driving me crazy. Finally someone suggested oven cleaner (on the stove top?) as the one thing that could rid us of this black plaque. The bottle said to use it in a well ventilated area - so I opened the windows and doors - but I still unintentionally breathed in some of it, which made me feel a little loopy. So I came upstairs, changed my Facebook status to something like John "doesn't like oven cleaner fumes." And a friend responded immediately with the suggestion that I quickly write a "trippy" poem in that state. So I wrote something, for better or worse, just a stream of consciousness rhyme of sorts that I now present to you here. Whether it even qualifies as a poem, I'll leave for others to decide. Here's the text (which I wrote in FB comments), followed by a video that I made an hour or two later of me reading the piece.
Here's the permalink to my poem:
http://joyleftowsblog.blogspot.com/2009/02/low-kay-shun-by-john-burroughs.html.
Second.... The other day I had an unintentionally close encounter with some oven cleaner. We have a self-cleaning oven — but cleaning the top of the stove requires a human touch. There'd been some baked on blackness on the stove top that I simply could not eliminate with any recommended chemical or amount of elbow grease. It was driving me crazy. Finally someone suggested oven cleaner (on the stove top?) as the one thing that could rid us of this black plaque. The bottle said to use it in a well ventilated area - so I opened the windows and doors - but I still unintentionally breathed in some of it, which made me feel a little loopy. So I came upstairs, changed my Facebook status to something like John "doesn't like oven cleaner fumes." And a friend responded immediately with the suggestion that I quickly write a "trippy" poem in that state. So I wrote something, for better or worse, just a stream of consciousness rhyme of sorts that I now present to you here. Whether it even qualifies as a poem, I'll leave for others to decide. Here's the text (which I wrote in FB comments), followed by a video that I made an hour or two later of me reading the piece.
John Burroughs
Nothin says lovin like somethin from the oven
Nothin says lovin like somethin from the oven
Makin me Easy Off my rocker
Without getting me hot
Now where are those Tollhouse cookies I bought
Before the fumes sent me on a U turn
Made my brain cells burn
Made my belly yearn for something sweet
Some doughy gooey chocolatey treat
To devour as I regain my sanity
And indulge my vanity
In puerile poetry laced with profanity
Obscene words you mighta heard before
Like Cheney, Bush, Rush and Sean Hannity
What a chore
What a bore
Wishing they were Al Gore
But they're nuttin' honey
But bakin' you for money
Getting more dough than the Pillsbury boy
Makin you hop
Makin you drop
And rises some more
Now where was I?
Givin' me their lovin'
The coast is clear
At least for four years
The Republicans are done
Now they made me their nookie
Left me not a thing but this Tollhouse cookie
And a dear John letter signed "Karl Rove"
But that's okay, 'cause I got clean stove.
-*-
Getting more dough than the Pillsbury boy
Playing with pollution like it's just a toy
Spinning you like a top
Makin you hop
Makin you poor
Makin you drop
Beneath the fiscal floor
While their dough just rises
And rises some more
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, in the oven
Bush and Dick are done now
Givin' me their lovin'
Obama's here and there's nothing to fear
The coast is clear
At least for four years
The Republicans are done
Now they made me their nookie
Left me not a thing but this Tollhouse cookie
And a dear John letter signed "Karl Rove"
But that's okay, 'cause I got clean stove.
-*-
Posted by Jesus Crisis at 2/26/2009 10:42 AM 
Categories: Poetry by JC, Video Blogs
Tags: Elyria Poetry Rap Video Joy Leftow Stove Top Oven Cleaner Jesus Crisis
Categories: Poetry by JC, Video Blogs
Tags: Elyria Poetry Rap Video Joy Leftow Stove Top Oven Cleaner Jesus Crisis
*smile*... Love reading the text... but it seems you generated more than what was just on FaceBook.
The video brought a hearty chuckle from me and my friend from Belgium Christie, who I shared it with.. she loved it. And she's pretty fussy about poetry.
Like the end result though.. Have you though to hit Easy Off or Toll House up with your poem? Maybe there are some endorsement bucks in it.. You never
know....Product placement and all that..
I could just envision this as a poetic commercial...
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Actually I can envision you Toll House cookie in one hand, Easy Off cleaner in the other.. Your piratey type of biker look, bandana and all and an apron...
I think it would be a real hit..... really.
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Yeah, Chris that would be the real John you know, a biker pirate with a toll house cookie in one hand but the Easy Off might make him a bit too loopy. lol
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Haha! Thanks, Chris! It's actually just exactly what I wrote on Facebook -- just a cut a paste job -- though I did add stanza breaks and cut out other people's comments between the lines.
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http://poetrypoem.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?poemnumber=781053&sitename=charlax&password=&poemoffset=0&displaypoem=t&item=poetry
stephancranedidnotprofaneclevelandfame
orcleanthestovetopovenfrontwithfume
rapidinhalationofanythingisrude
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I'm digging that, Charles. I especially like the line "rapidinhalationofanythingisrude"! Thanks for sharing it with us!
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Gee, that's worse than sniffing the glue you have been in lately.
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Thanks for commenting, Elena.
If it's bad and it's glue, it probably isn't so good for your nose.
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Good on you
*SNIFF*
all in fun john
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Heh, proof positive that expanded consciousness is entirely subjective!
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Having fun with Easy Off and expanded consciousness is certainly entertaining.
However, the video is so dark it could use some bleach. Which reminds me of Joy Leftow's book that I bought and it is in front of me now. "Spot of Bleach and Other Poems and Prose" It is certainly great that she put "Low Kay Shun" on her poetry blog. You will be famous in no time, John. Good on you as they say in Australia.
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Ha! Thanks, Brian! And thanks, Elena....
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Sounds to me like John DOES like oven cleaner fumes. Remind me to tell you about the time I almost burned the house down because I used oven cleaner to clean the top of my stove...
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Oooh, Tara... that sounds scary!
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It was, it was! I use oven cleaner to clean the top of my stove occasionally, but that wasn't the problem. I have an electric stove now, which I had never had before, always had gas. It has these burner covers that I never had to deal with before. I assumed they came with the stove and they get really dirty and, well, burned. I was using Easy Off to clean them for about three years, thinking they "came with the stove." I later found out they cost about two dollars each at Wal-Mart. So here I am using three dollars worth of cleaner to clean these two dollar covers. One night, thank God Dave was home, I was cooking dinner and a huge flash of flame just shot up and started licking the bearing wall next to the stove. I thought the whole complex was going to burn. Naturally, I comletely lost my composure and started babbling to Dave, "Fire extinguishier, fire extinguisher!" To which he replied, "We have a fire extinguisher?" S**t. I couldn't get the words out that it was inches from him, below the sink. Finally I grabbed it, but didn't know how to use it. Neither did I, for that matter. Having one is only half the battle. He put the fireball out and since then I replace those burner covers regularly. I would have been mightily embarrassed and flustered if the FD or anyone else showed up. Thankfully, they did not, because I set off the fire alarm about once a week between cooking dinner (when the alarm goes off it's done) and spraying air freshener, the mist of which sets off our very sensitive fire alarm. I was always worried about apartment living, esp. b/c our townhouse has fireplaces, but now I know that it is more likely that I will be the one to accidentally start a fire even though my fireplace has a baby gate in it and has never been used for anything other than hanging stockings...
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Almost forgot. That's a surprisingly coherent poem for someone overcome by oven cleaner. I know having been overcome by bleach once and not inspired in any way whatsoever. It rivals the classic: "Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven." !!!
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"Getting more dough than the Pillsbury boy" - odd how the two "leaders" of the republican't party (karl rove and rush limbaugh) are both really fat phuques who want others to do as they say, not as they do.
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True....
I'm impressed with the job Obama's doing so far - exceeding expectations even, if that's possible. But I'm still hesitant to be too optimistic. When I said the part about "Obama's here and there's nothing to fear," it was partly tongue in cheek. One man can do a lot, but there's no one man who's gonna fix everything on his own.
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this is cool submit to madswirl.com and say I sent you.
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Cool! I wasn't hip to that site.
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I really like poetry inspired by every day things. That one should come out of stove-cleaning is kind of great, actually. I really like your work. Poetry is such a great tool for making art out of the ordinary. Too bad not so many people use it anymore. It used to be the most renowned medium of literature, but now it's relegated to elitists and English PhDs. Such a shame.
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That is really very good article. I am glad to know. Thanks!
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Hi,
I loved both of his poems... I am so used to his phrase ""tell her, no way, she can't come"" too good.... I keep repeating this phrase.
Keep up the good work. "
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