Going Mobile (a poem)
Going Mobile
a title as redundant as I sometimes feel
Often I feel I
overthink
most everything I do or say -
other times I feel I don't
think enough
or am thoughtless -
sometimes I feel I'm doing
or not doing
both simultaneously.
It's enough to render me immobile
like the main man in John
Barth's The End of the Road.
That's when by sheer force of will,
whether it's a waste
of energy
and time
or not,
I make myself remain mobile -
at least in
this three ring
gerbil wheel circus -
because I feel
if I'm not
doing something
I might as well
stop.
-*-
a title as redundant as I sometimes feel
Often I feel I
overthink
most everything I do or say -
other times I feel I don't
think enough
or am thoughtless -
sometimes I feel I'm doing
or not doing
both simultaneously.
It's enough to render me immobile
like the main man in John
Barth's The End of the Road.
That's when by sheer force of will,
whether it's a waste
of energy
and time
or not,
I make myself remain mobile -
at least in
this three ring
gerbil wheel circus -
because I feel
if I'm not
doing something
I might as well
stop.
Posted by Jesus Crisis at 4/11/2009 10:08 AM 
Categories: Poetry by JC
Tags: Elyria John Burroughs John Barth End of The Road Redundant Cleveland poetry Going Mobile Jesus Crisis
Categories: Poetry by JC
Tags: Elyria John Burroughs John Barth End of The Road Redundant Cleveland poetry Going Mobile Jesus Crisis
yes I get it completely - I am there too.
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Thanks, Joy. It seems I'm simultaneously sad but glad to know I'm not the only one.
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no funny stuffins no links to charlax poem just humble you touched me you evolved in poetry this one is better nicer older version of the rest of you
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I'm grateful for your response, Charles!
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I like this.. it's very honest... I often feel similarly..
I often think awareness is half the battle...
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Thanks! In AA they say "Acceptance is the first step to recovery." You can't have acceptance without awareness. Maybe resignation, but not acceptance....
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just let me say evolution is real in poetry you just keep getting better at what you do
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Too much thinking makes John a dull boy.
Did you ever have a gerbil in a cage. We did. Good metaphor....
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Too little thinking and John might not be.
He wouldn't have thought of that metaphor either.
I also used it in my poem Karma Souptra.
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Thumbs up on another super poem, JC!
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Ha! When I was thinking about what title to use for it, this Who song kept going through my head - and I couldn't think of anything that fit better.
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seems i saw a portion of this as a comment on lady earlier today. way to go.
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Indeed! The comment on Lady's blog came first. Then I looked at what I'd written and said to myself "You know, John, there might be a poem there, if you resist the temptation to refine it much further." I added line breaks and tweaked the ending slighty to get what I've posted here.
If folks wanna see the Lady blog that opened the door to this poem, visit www.walkingthinice.com.
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Neato
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Thank you, Lady! This isn't the first time your blog has provided the catalyst for a poem. A couple others you might recall are The Final Frontier and Three Dot Night.
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I guess I was just thinking of all work and not play makes Jack a dull boy. But I didn't mean to say you're a dull John. Maybe we all think too much and play too little and it is the same old, same old doing repetitively. I often feel that way like the gerbil on a wheel. But we all must be grateful to be mobile, able to move, to laugh, to dance and even to write and sing and enjoy life. So keep doing and don't stop. And for god's sake don't stop thinking. lol
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Cogito ergo sum.
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Siento luego soy.
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I went back to 10/3/08 and read the poems and the comments. There have been a lot of changes in our lives since then. Are we really the captains of our own ships.
Or are we the unwitting destiny's tots? Did we change the world since October or is Obama going to succeed in doing this? I love that man and pray that his wisdom and leadership bring peace and prosperity to this planet. On Oct. 3rd we had no idea of the future and we still don't. But there is still hope for all of us. No matter how much thinking we do, how much we try to find love and hope and prosperity, the world is still too much with us. Even in Elyria and Cleveland there are murders with guns, violence, poverty, senseless and useless deterants to any peace. So my hope for all of us is that by next Easter or even before that there is a turn around in the world and we can rejoice even if the Messiah hasn't come yet. (An old Jewish thought) So Jesus Crisis just keep thinking and doing and being and I will also. Hope is the only salvation for us. We have a past but NOW is the time we are in and the future is not to see..Whatever will be will be. Peace and love, Elena
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I'm wondering when a literary allusion becomes so obscure that it becomes meaningless... or whether I'm just not well read enough to get the reference to Barth...he's not one of my favorites.
And should that stop a poet or writer from making the reference? (I'd say not, in most cases...)
But I'm just wondering if it's just human nature to skip over things like that which we might only get a bit of the meaning from the context.
Did your other readers know the allusion? Does it contribute significantly to the poem? I don't know.
I'm just curious because it seemed to stick out to me.
(I feel a bit like a traitor when everyone else has said such great things and I start nitpicking but I thought I'd put in my two cents, for what it's worth...)
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I appreciate honest feedback from an insightful soul like yourself.
I think in this case the allusion is not meaningless because I've spelled it out. I mean, I don't believe having read the book will necessarily add to your understanding/appreciation of the poem. The poem gives it to you.
I'm tempted to say you're overthinking it. But one could also say I "underthought" it.
However, what I wrote was on several levels thought out. For example, there's a reason I have a line break between John and Barth, and it has nothing to do with keeping the lines a similar length. "Barth's The End of the Road" is like a parenthetical statement, the equivalent of the previous line's "John." There are lots of little things like that - that people may or may not find meaningful. But they are meaningful to me at least - which I suppose is my point - to express myself - and I also mean The End of the Road as more than just the title of a book. Even if one does not know the book - or even if the book did not exist - the phrase The End of the Road would be meaningful in the context of the poem, though perhaps then "Barth's" would still be superfluous.
If I were writing fiction or a newspaper article I think I would be more cautious in my choice of literary allusion -- but in this poem I feel it is unnecessary. Anyway, it feels almost as though the allusion chose itself - I didn't choose it. It came out naturally. Perhaps it is what it is meant to be. And as MacLeish said, "A poem should not mean, but be" - or something of the sort.
I'm grateful for your well thought-out comment. I will consider it further tomorrow when I'm not so tired.
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Really like the poem, btw! Like the lines:
"other times I feel I don't
think enough
or am thoughtless - "
subtle shift of meaning, great wordplay, very effective!
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I see where you're going with this and I'm sure it's simply just my low reading comprehension catching up with me... it happens when I get overtired and right now I feel like the walking dead.
It certainly wasn't meant as a personal attack or anything like that as I'm afraid some of your fans may have taken it.
In a way the allusion issue was more of a general question anyway, not just in reference to this poem.
But I'll shut up now before I dig myself into an even deeper hole.
My dull wits and I will just go back to picking my own nits for now. I have my own little gerbil circus to run here.
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LOL... I knew it wasn't a personal attack. It was a valid exploration. Thank you!
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