Top Ten Reasons to Accelerate Global Warming Now
That's right, I said accelerate - as in put the pedal to the metal and burn this mutha down. Here are ten reasons the gods, if they exist, might look back on the 21st century and call speeding up global warming one hell of a good idea.
10. Fox News, Sean Hannity, and American Idol (pronounced eye-dull) are off the air!
9. Obesity, heart disease, and corporate fraud have been reduced permanently.
8. No need for fuel efficient cars. Viva la Hummer spacecraft!
7. Death to all tyrants!
6. War and genocide are things of the past.
5. Windmill schmindmill - solar wind requires no construction and heats for free.
4. An end, once and for all, to e-mail advocating penis enhancement!
3. Think of all the time you'll save not hurling virtual snowballs and poking your friends on Facebook.
2. Your leftovers are already warm!
1. Who needs an oyster? The world is my sauna.
10. Fox News, Sean Hannity, and American Idol (pronounced eye-dull) are off the air!
9. Obesity, heart disease, and corporate fraud have been reduced permanently.
8. No need for fuel efficient cars. Viva la Hummer spacecraft!
7. Death to all tyrants!
6. War and genocide are things of the past.
5. Windmill schmindmill - solar wind requires no construction and heats for free.
4. An end, once and for all, to e-mail advocating penis enhancement!
3. Think of all the time you'll save not hurling virtual snowballs and poking your friends on Facebook.
2. Your leftovers are already warm!
1. Who needs an oyster? The world is my sauna.
Posted by Jesus Crisis at 4/25/2009 9:02 AM 
Categories: Comedy, News and Politics
Tags: Global Warming
Categories: Comedy, News and Politics
Tags: Global Warming
Everyone needs to feel a special now & zen.
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I agree!
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just for that, you've been poked. ;-P
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And I've poked you back! Kinky...
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Need to make a short term benefits list, too, with entries like "Eat as many cheeseburgers as we want!"
Good stuff.
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Thanks, B.! Good idea!
"Forget steam cleaning the carpets!" would be on mine.
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12. Baked Alaska for dessert (or is that desert?)
in the all new tropical Ohio
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Hot stuff on the north coast!
Here's part two of the soundtrack:
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good ones. global warming is cool for Mother Earth because it'll wipe out polluting humans.
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I wonder if she'll be sad like I imagine most mothers are when they lose a child, even a bad one.
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