Another Day, Another Disconnection

The first email address I had was (or was it .com?), set up in June 2004 when I first came home from prison and was living in Mom's basement.  Then I set up to use for more "professional" matters.  Mom had just bought me a new computer as my coming home present, so I created an email account for her too (, to help wean her off of WebTV.

A few years later, Time Warner replaced Comcast in our area (Elyria, Ohio) and our email addresses were changed from to, but we kept them until this week when I turned off Mom's cable TV, phone and internet service.  Most of my blog readers didn't know those addresses anyway, as lately I've only used them for bills, coupons and political stuff.  Mom used hers for everything.  

Anyway, they're gone now.  Every day seems to bring a new series of goodbyes.

Now I have this song in my head.

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  • 5/19/2013 10:47 AM embee wrote:
    i have a tattoo for my mom between my shoulder blades. it is in arabic, and in an interesting coincidence, it is the word "joy". i chose that word because of all the joy she brought to everyone who knew her, including me.

    this may help, i don't know. you are saying goodbye to things, not to her. she still exists in every part of your being. try not to forget to be.

    Reply to this
  • 5/20/2013 3:59 AM Christina wrote:
    I think it is the small things sometimes that hurt the most. Things we forgot about or that seemed to have little significance suddenly have a weight in our heart like a stone.

    Acknowledging each of those things as they come helps the healing i think. I am trying to focus on gratitude for time spent and small joys, as mb says above.

    I find myself remembering silly strange things, some times deeply intimate ones... like scent and touch... or a silly joke that I now miss.

    Doing these tasks that disconnect the final links to someone's life, untying the final thread are hard. I hope you eventually find peace in the happy memories you will carry with you.
    Reply to this
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